Gotham Gastronomy

A Virtual Vase for the Flowers of Food and the Whorls of Wine...

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Gotham Gall

Sometimes, we find ourselves with a nemesis in life.
Other times, we have a Newman.
A Newman is different from a nemesis in that "nemesis" implies one's equal, whereas a "Newman" is troublesome, but their residence is on a lower plane.
Gotham Gastronomy has found a Newman in a bothersome blog titled Gotham Gal.
The Gotham Gal seems to push all of our buttons! I won't stoop to comment on "virtual me" message attached to the avatar, nor will I lower myself to mocking the position of honor that Bruni's blog receives atop the the link list. (On a sidenote, another three star review? Did the NYT reduce their copay enough for Frank to beginning filling prescriptions for Zoloft?)
However, this week I shall let Bruni be. Dear readers, I may differ in opinion from the C-Section's scion, but I respect his knowledge. Unfortunately, the issue of respect is exactly the problem with said gotham gal.
Chefs and their colleagues in the front of the house (on all levels) practice an art, and one must establish a base respect for such skills before taking potshots at their work. A blind man should not critique a photo exhibit; Hilton Kramer does not ask for Nan Goldin to reprint her color creations in b&w before writing a review.
Yet, the gotham gals is apparently above such frivolities. Her recent write-up on Ditch Plains details her desire to order their dishes without garlic. For example, she orders the "standard" mussel preparation of white wine and shallots sans garlic. Uhhh... this classic dish has four components and she wants one removed? Okay. I have no problem with anyone else's preferences, but please do not portend any degree of expertise. Likewise, in regards to my favorite restaurant, Cru, she argues that, "they really MUST create a better more sophisticated ambiance to go with the fantastic food they are serving or honestly, we won't come back." Tense issues aside, I can not fathom a lack of sophistication serving as a source of criticism in regards to Cru. One means of improvement that the other GG suggests for Cru is the addition of flowers. Hmmm... well, Cru already has flowers. Perhaps, they were missed because the arrangements are understated. The rationale behind that probably has something to do with overpowering floral scents being a detriment to one of the largest wine lists in the world. Oh yeah, and something called class! Further, I must note that the idea Cru did not hire a decorator is absurd; the notion triggers a Proustian flash to Bruni's work on Urena and I realize that the gotham gal has achieved the impossible: improved my opinion of Frank. Alas, these criticisms continue on, as the gotham gal devotes character after character to confused criticism. At Perry Street, a "browned butter vinaigrette" was "good but rich. " Butter? Rich? Really? And, then there is Babbo's failure to receive "five stars" on account of rock and roll. Oh, I thought it was because the Old Grey Lady only has four to give.
Folks in the industry work very hard, and even in the purgatorial realm of the blogosphere, we have a responsibility to educate ourselves before trashing someone else's art and livelihood!
However, the respect issue most troubling is that of Judaism. I frequently crack jokes about my relations with my religion, but the gotham gal has taken the topic to taboo. To be exact, she needs to relax with the stereotypes, just a little bit. For example, I take offense at her professed principle that Jews judge one another's weddings based on the quantity of food served. (Damn, I must have left my scorecard at the last meeting of Media-Banking Conspiracy Club.) Likewise, her embrace of the medieval, stereotype of the penny pinching jew is a sad study in semiotics. On her blog, the jewess does not order dessert because she knows that the restaurant will offer complimentary petit-fours. This does not help our cause, at all.
I find solace in the fact that the g-gal does not confine her latent discrimination to our people. No, a Chinese restaurant must be good because the other patrons were speaking Chinese, not Mandarin, Cantonese, Hu, or Wakka, mind you. Never mind that like styles of cooking, these variations are basically different languages. Wow, they were speaking Chinese in Chinatown! Who'd have thunk it?
Thunk, well, think is exactly the issue at hand!
Try it sometime!

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