Gastronomical Gimmicks

New York City has always been a mecca of malfeasance; we were home to Boss Tweed and, hell, Gotham gave the world Times Square. However, the home to the hustle settles for no simple scheme. There is always a hook involved, and restaurants are no exception to the glut of gimmicks. (Just look at Ninja or the now defunct World Wrestling Federation eatery.) So, before you play three card monte with your meal, be weary potential pitfalls.

- Wine Paired by the Course - The key concept here is the idea that each dish receives the perfect pairing. However, in reality, the option offers an easy outlet for restaurants to clear their cellar of slow moving, low-end wines (at an absurd mark-up.) Look at the suggested glasses, often it involves such "sluttly" staples as Apocalypse Now Redux a.k.a. Coppola's Blue Diamond; this vino is so poor that it pairs with little aside form a hangover.
A better option is to actually speak with the sommelier. Generally, a meal can be matched with one white which bridges the early courses and one red that matches well with the mature manifestations arriving after the fish "finale". If foie-gras is involved, it generally warrants it's own wine, in time out of ten, the appropriate partner is a sauternes, tokai, or sweet wine off of the existing glass list.

- Specials - Listen carefully to the special! Is it, well, special? To the point, does this dish involve a rare or seasonal ingredient? For example, king crab legs are special, but baked ziti is not. Even if the captain tells you that the ziti was hand rolled by one armed Jesuit monk after his escape from St. Helena, the bottom line is that the kitchen probably got sick of that Jesuit and is trying to unload some food before it goes stale. Further, legitimate specials are often a means for the back of the house to test new dishes. That sounds great, but as Bruni is so fond of noting, new dishes (and restaurants) often need some work, time to work out the worries and wrinkles. Chances are that the menu has other dishes that are new to you, but time tested to them. If, in fact, you do frequent that restaurant so frequently that the entire menu is passe, then your rapport with the staff should be sufficient to circumvent said shenanigans.

- Country Con - The discussion of new dishes provides a perfect segue to a little scheme receiving much attention on account of M. Zakarian... Here at Country, we change the menu every two weeks.
Please!
Why?
Said statement means that the establishment is always one week from having their shite together!
Hint to Diners: Better restaurants constantly change their menus to account for seasonal ingredients and innovations in the back. They simply do not make a big show of it like the polyester clad used car salesman that Zakarian and shamed sidekick, Doug Psaltis, have become. If you want to eat in a restaurant built on marketing scams, go to the Hard Rock... at least, you can buy a souvenir cup there!